


Out of Body

by kitty_fic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Humor, M/M, Porn and Crack, penis!Draco, possible consent issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-30
Packaged: 2017-12-09 21:33:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitty_fic/pseuds/kitty_fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco is having an out of body experience. He's out of his body, but unfortunately he's become a part of Harry's! [Featuring Penis!Draco]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imera/gifts).



> TOTAL unbeta-ed crack!, 6th year AU (Harry and Draco are 16), possible consent issues *snort*, Penis!Draco

"Watch where you're going, Potter!" Draco bumped into Harry as they passed by each other, sending Harry into the wall.

"You're the one that needs to watch out. You ran into me!" Harry rubbed his shoulder where it had crashed into the stone. 

"What can I say? You were in my way." Draco smirked.

"We're the only ones here." Harry motioned around them. "Stay the fuck on your side of the corridor."

"You think you bloody well own this school, don't you, Potter?" Draco stepped closer to Harry, backing him up against the stone wall. "Dumbledore's Golden Boy." Draco spat. "You think you can do anything you please, don't you?"

"You don't know what your talking about, Malfoy. If anyone's too full of themself, it's you, you great prat. Now, move out of my way." Harry shoved Draco away.

Draco stumbled back but then leaned in again. 

"I said, get out of my way!" Harry shoved harder. 

Draco caught his balance but Harry immediately shoved him back again, harder still.

Draco lost his footing and reached out for something to catch himself, grabbing hold of Harry's shirt.

Instead of keeping them both upright, Harry tumbled down with Draco and they both fell into a tapestry and fell strait through it. 

*****

Harry pushed himself up off of Draco where he had landed. "Hey, are you okay?"

Draco's eyes were closed and he didn't answer so Harry moved closer. "Malfoy, are you okay." Harry reached out a hand to shake him. 

Harry was thankful to see that Malfoy was definitely breathing, even though he seemed to be unconscious. 

Harry heard a muffled voice coming from somewhere. "Potter? What is this? Where am I? I can't see anything? Bloody hell, Potter! What have you done to me?"

"Malfoy?" Harry glanced back down to the boy next to him but he was still sleeping and his lips weren't moving."

"Let me out of here, Potter!"

"Where are you, Malfoy? Why do you sound muffled?" Harry checked Malfoy's body once more.

Suddenly, Harry felt a strange sensation in his crotch, like his cock was moving all on it's own, struggling around in his y-fronts. He reached down to adjust himself.

"Auuuuugggghhhh! What is that? What's touching me?" Draco screamed and Harry's cock wriggled even more against his grasp.

"What the hell?" Harry yelped as he grabbed hold of his cock through his trousers trying to restrain its movement.

"Let go of me! It's got me! It's killing me!" Draco cried out in a panic.

Harry couldn't bother himself anymore with Draco's problem, all he could think of was his cock and the way it continued to struggle against him, like it had a mind of it's own. He reached his hand down to unbutton and unzip his trousers. He pulled his pants down a bit to have a look and his cock flopped out of it's restraints and waved around in all directions. 

"Where am I, Potter? I think I've left my body."

"Stop joking around!"

"I'm not joking! I'm here!" Harry's cock continued wiggling around uncontrollably.

"What? Where are you, Draco? How are you there?" Harry exclaimed! "How are you in my cock? How is that even possible?" Harry grabbed for himself in a protective gesture.

"Auuugh! Don't touch me! Don't touch me! What are you? Some kind of pervert?"

"Me? It's my cock! Why are you possessing it? You're the pervert!" 

"I'm not a pervert, Potter!" 

The more excited Draco became, the more Harry's cock flopped around. Harry wrapped his hand around it to keep it in place. 

"Don't touch me! I said, don't touch me!"

"Be still will you! Please!" Draco stopped moving and Harry's hand dropped back to his side. "Okay, let's stay calm. We've got to figure this out.

"Where's my body, Potter?" Draco wiggled just a bit as he asked.

"It's right there," Harry motioned toward the floor where Draco still lay unconscious.

"Where Potter? I can't see. I'm a cock remember," Draco sneered.

"You're laying there on the floor."

"What? Am I dead?" Draco shrieked and resumed waving around madly again.

Harry gritted his teeth but refrained from touching. "No, you idiot. You're not dead. You're unconscious. But don't worry you're still breathing."

"Oh, thank Merlin!" Draco relaxed again. "Where are we anyway?"

"I- I'm not sure." Harry replied.

"What do you mean you're not sure? Look around, you berk. Surely there's something here that can give us a clue."

Harry's eyes travelled the room until they came to rest on a bookshelf and he walked over to it. 

His trousers were still wide open and Draco swung freely between his legs as he moved.

Harry reached up and pulled a dusty book from the shelf. 

"Well, Potter? What did you find?"

Harry laid the book on a nearby table and pulled out three more books from the shelf. "These are all books on. . ."

"On what, Potter? Come on! Spit it out! We haven't got all day!" 

"On. . . sex magic."

"Merlin's beard! I'd heard that Hogwarts used to have a sex education curriculum, but it was cancelled ages ago. This must be the old classroom.

"From the state of things, I'd say it has a curse on it." Harry muttered. "Just my luck."

"Get ahold of yourself, Potter! You've got to get me to the hospital wing. If Madame Pomfrey can innervate my body, then maybe I can easily return to it."

Harry reached down to tuck himself back into his pants but the moment his fingers came near, Draco screamed. "No touching, Potter!"

"I've got to tuck myself back in! I can't very well go to the infirmary with my cock hanging out, can I?"

"Oh for fucks sake!" Draco sighed, defeated. "Go ahead then, but don't you dare try to cop a feel."

"What the hell, Malfoy? It's my own cock!"

"Not now it's not!" Draco screeched, but he was cutoff as Harry quickly tucked him into his pants and zipped his trousers up again. 

Harry grabbed his wand, performed a _Moblicorpus_ on Draco's unconscious form and led him back into the corridor and towards the hospital wing.

 

 **To Be Continued. . .**  
Tune in next time to find out if Draco makes it back into his own body or if he will have to suffer through shower time and more touching!


	2. Chapter 2

"This is all your fault!" Malfoy exclaimed.

"My fault? How is it my fault?"

"If you hadn't pushed me into that tapestry, this wouldn't have happened!" 

"You started it! You bumped into me first!" Harry insisted.

They had managed to get Draco's body to the infirmary without incident and without anyone other than Madame Pomfrey realizing what had happened. Harry had been horrified to _show_ her but at least she was the only one he'd had to embarrass himself in front of. Though he had no delusions that she wouldn't tell Headmaster Dumbledore and quite possibly Professor McGonagall as well. He groaned.

Harry only hoped that he wouldn't have to give another demonstration. He wanted to keep himself to himself, thank you very much! Not that he had much choice with Draco currently possessing his cock. The moment they'd made it back to the safety of Gryffindor Tower, Draco had insisted that Harry open his trousers and let him free. He'd immediately started flopping around again and telling Harry how this was all his fault. 

Sitting on his bed, with his curtains pulled closed and locked with a spell, Harry really wished that he could do something to help- anything to help find a solution faster. He wanted to do some research of his own, but Hermione was usually the one to help him with that and there was no way he could go to her with this specific problem. She could help him defeat Voldemort but he couldn't tell her that Draco Malfoy's psyche was currently inhabiting his penis. Harry grimaced at the thought.

All they could do now was wait while Madame Pomfrey worked out a counter curse to put Draco back into his own body. Until then, he was stuck here with Draco Malfoy, the prick. Not that that was anything new. It was practically his natural state. Harry snorted.

"What are you laughing at you git? Are you laughing at me? I know you're laughing at me and you had better stop!" Draco ranted. 

"Will you shut up before someone hears you?"

From outside the curtains, Harry heard Ron's voice, "Harry, mate? Are you okay?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Will you shut up! Look what you've done!" Harry hissed at Draco under his breath.

"Yeah, Ron, I'm okay," Harry replied, with a squeak to his voice.

"Who are you tallking to?"Ron asked, sounding concerned.

"Um, nobody?" Harry winced, knowing that he didn't sound near convincing enough. "I mean... um, I'm just talking to myself." Harry figured that was true enough in some ways, though he also knew it made him sound like he was going mad. _Bloody hell!_ That's all he needed- rumors that The Boy Who Lived had lost his mind and was going around talking to himself. He could see the headlines now. 

"Don't tell me what to do, Potter! If you'd put up a silencing spell, we wouldn't be having this problem!"

Merlin's sake, Malfoy had to shut up before he made this situation worse than it already was! If that was possible. Harry reached down and grabbed him in an attempt to keep him quiet. Draco shrieked. Harry clamped his hand down harder.

"Ow Ow! You're hurting me! Let go! Let go! No touching! I said no touching!"

Harry had to get out of here and fast. He could hear Ron on the other side of the curtains asking him again if he was okay, but Harry had no answer. He quickly shoved Draco back into his pants and zipped up his trousers. Draco was still yelling, but at least he was muffled again. Harry grabbed his shower things and jerked open the curtain. He made a beeline for the door, making awkward excuses at Ron on his way out. His thoughts were only on escaping before everyone in the tower heard Draco and their problem became common knowledge. Harry thought he would rather fight another dragon than have that happen.

\-----

Relieved to be alone once more, Harry closed the door of the bathroom with a sigh of relief. Well, not really alone, since he wouldn't technically ever be alone until they found a way to get Draco back into his own body, but at least there was no threat of anyone finding out about them here.

He reluctantly released Draco again who had become blessedly silent once more. 

"Malfoy, please, you have to be more careful. I don't want everyone knowing about this."

Draco remained quiet, giving Harry the silent treatment. He swung freely between Harry's legs as he undressed, turned on the shower and stepped in. Harry thought he could get used to this. Maybe this wouldn't be quite as bad if Malfoy wasn't talking to him.

The water wasn't quite warm yet and Harry jumped at the touch of cold on his skin. 

"What the buggering fuck, Potter? That's bloody cold!" Malfoy screeched. 

Harry sighed. He was really looking forward to the quiet, but that didn't last near long enough.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Malfoy asked. "I nearly shrivelled up into nothing!"

Malfoy was on a rampage again. Harry tried to block him out, without success. He concentrated on washing, avoiding his cock and Draco altogether. Thankfully, Draco fell silent again at some point. Harry washed himself everywhere- twice. Everywhere- except his cock. 

Unable to delay it any longer, Harry decided to just go for it. He would quickly wash his cock, get out of the shower, get dressed and go back to his room for bed. So what if it was earlier than he normally went to sleep. It had been a rough day and frankly he was looking forward to not having to think about the nightmare that currently was his life.

He lathered up his hands and slowly, reached for his cock and balls. His fingers had barely brushed his prick when Draco started screaming again.

"I said no touching!"

"I have to wash, don't I?" Harry yelled back, completely exasperated.

"Help! Someone help me! I'm being molested," Draco shrieked.

"For fuck's sake, Malfoy! I told you, it's _my_ cock! I've got to wash it!" Harry grabbed hold of Draco again and squeezed him tight, trying to get him to shut up so that he could just get this over with. 

With Harry holding him tightly, Draco was incapacitated. Harry used the opportunity to wash himself, sliding his soapy hand over his shaft as he squeezed. He seemed to have silenced Draco at last and Harry looked down at him with smug satisfaction. Then, Harry realized what was happening.

Draco was flushed and red and he seemed to be hardening in Harry's hand. Harry gasped in a harsh breath of air and quickly let go.

Harry's breathing sped up and his heart raced. No, no, no! This was not happening! He hadn't meant for this to happen at all. He could _not_ get an erection! 

Harry reached out desperately for the shower knob, adjusting the water to freezing again and turned to rinse the soap from his body. The moment the spray of cold water hit his cock, Draco screamed again. Harry didn't care. The only thing he cared about was that he was no longer hard.

Crisis averted. 

Harry sighed in relief.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry dreaded going back to his dorm room. He could only hope that he had been gone long enough that the rest of his roommates would be asleep. 

He quietly pushed the door open and was relieved to see that the room was already dark and blessedly quiet. He and Draco must have taken more time than he realized in the shower. Harry cringed at the reminder of his problem. 

He quickly crawled up into his bed, pulled the curtains around him and set a silencing charm just in case. Finally, he lay back with a sigh of relief that the day was finally over and let his eyes drift closed. 

Dare he hope that he had heard the last from Draco for the night- and even moreso, that the git might be returned to his own body when Harry woke the next day. Hary had almost fallen asleep when his penis started moving of its own accord once more and he sighed in defeat when he heard Draco's muffled voice coming from inside his pants.

"It's hot in here. Let me out, Potter! Are you trying to suffocate me?"

"What do you expect? I can't just walk around with my cock hanging out all the time," Harry insisted.

"It doesn't matter now. You're alone ," Draco insisted 

"I wish," Harry grumbled.

"No one will see. Just let me out already."

"Fine," Harry grumbled, but he shimmied out of his pajama pants anyway and held open the flap of his boxers so that Draco could wiggle free.

"Ahhh, that's so much better. It was like a furnace in there. You're body heat has to be ten degrees higher than I'm used to."

"Cold-hearted Slytherins," Harry mumbled under his breath.

"I heard that!"

"What ever, just go to sleep," Harry said with a small laugh. "And for Merlin's sake, please try to be gone when I wake up in the morning."

===D~

When Harry woke, he was laying on his stomach with his rock hard cock pinned beneath his body, stabbing painfully into the mattress. Still groggy, he shifted his hips slightly, attempting to find a more comfortable angle that would alleviate some of the pressure and allow him to sleep just a bit longer before dealing with his erection. 

Unfortunately, a muffled 'yelp' reminded him of the events of the day before and Harry quickly rolled over to check the status of his problem. His reddened cock was standing at attention and his boxers were doing nothing to restrain it. 

"Ohhh," Draco's voice cut through the silence again and Harry was grateful that he'd put up the silencing spell the night before. "I feel strange. What's happening to me?" Draco moaned.

"Nothing, Malfoy. It's just morning wood. Now, go back to sleep."

Harry felt Draco twitch and flop against his belly. 

"I can't, Potter. I feel so weird. You have to do something."

Draco moaned again and Harry bit his lip, trying to tune out the sound and the sensation of his hard cock moving on its own. 

"Do something?" Harry croaked. "What do you want me to do?" His voice cracked on the last word. "Now, be still! You're making it worse." 

"I need some relief, Potter. Please," Draco groaned as he shifted slightly, bouncing in the air. "Fix it!"

Harry bit back a moan of his own when Draco started waving around madly and his cock slapped against his belly again. 

"No," Harry growled. "Go, back to sleep."

"I can't sleep like this," Draco whined. "I need something. I feel so hot and strained. I don't think I can stretch much farther."

"Too bad!" Harry flopped back over on his stomach, trapping Draco between his body and the mattress again in hopes of silencing him.

Draco didn't remain still this time, no matter how hard Harry tried to keep him immovable. He shifted against the sheets, intent on driving Harry mad.

"Move, Potter. Just shift your hips a little, that's all. Please, I need it!" 

"Are you insane?" Harry asked. "No. Absolutely not." Apparently his body had other plans. His hips started to shift ever so slightly against the bed, dragging his cock against the sheets in a torturously slow movement.

"Faster," Draco whined.

"Merlin, you're bossy, Malfoy. Shut up, will you?" Harry moved his hips against the mattress again, faster and his eyes rolled back in his head as a wave of pleasure swept over him.

"More, Potter. It's not enough. I need more. So close," Draco groaned. "Please, you have to touch me."

"Fuck!" Harry growled as he flipped back over onto his back again. Unable to resist any longer, he wrapped his hand around his cock in a loose fist and stroked up the length and back down again in a torturous glide.

Draco moaned even louder and bucked wildly into Harry's hand. "Yes! Please! Yes," he cried.

Harry bit his lip and kept his hand moving in the familiar rhythm that he always used when he touched himself. He could feel his orgasm starting to build, growing stronger with each stroke of his hand until his whole body tensed. 

Suddenly, shining, white come erupted hard through Harry's fist and every muscle in his body tensed as he came. He was left completely spent and panting harshly as he tried to regain his breath.

His entire body tingled and his vision went white as he drifted in a pleasant post-orgasmic haze. Closing his eyes, Harry lay there recovering from possibly the most intense orgasm of his life. In the relaxing silence, he almost dozed off again, but it was too good to be true.

"I can not believe you did that," Draco hissed. 

"Me?" Harry guffawed. "You were the one begging for it!"

"Don't you dare blame this on me, Potter! In fact don't even speak to me!"

"Fine!" Harry snorted.

"Fine!" Draco replied.

Harry rolled over, punched his pillow and once again tried to claim the few hours of sleep that remained.

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter of this was written for hd_commentfest on Livejournal - Nov challenge: Crack/Humour. I had no intention to write this when I already had a zillion things to do and write, but penis!Draco demanded that I tell his story NOW!
> 
> I was reading this Yaoi: [Chintsubu](http://www.manga-go.com/r/l_manga/manga/chintsubu/) when this insane plot bunny attacked me! This story is based on and inspired by a yaoi manga. Some quotes may have been taken in part or in whole from the manga. Please forgive me for the lack of originality. I've been reading a lot of manga lately and I just can't resist the temptation of putting some of my favorite boys into these situations. This is meant as a fanwork for both Harry Potter and the original manga. Neither the situation nor the characters belong to me. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy the combination of worlds as I've woven them together.


End file.
